Being vegetarian for over 20 years, most people assume that I would be against taxidermy. Unbeknownst to my nearest, I have a slight affliction towards post-mortem animal sculptures. Mostly the blame lies towards my upbringing: I was raised by outdoorsmen, hunting and fishing types that would up-cycle their kills. My uncle had his basement turned into a natural history museum exhibit. From woodland creature pelts, to moose legged lamps, one could really learn a lot about the animals of the upper midwest.

He would've really brightened up my living room.

There’s always room more lil helpers like him.

While I was dog sitting this weekend in the San Fernando Valley, I was blinded by the bounty of this oddities shop on Magnolia Blvd. Careening my sleigh to the first available spot, I hurried myself in. I was greeted immediately by one of the owners, Erick, who was busily cleaning and arranging new product. Right away, he offered his assistance, since I was eyeing up his taxidermy rodent selection very hungrily. He also mentioned that all the animals that were available for purchase all died from natural causes. I appreciated that, since I felt a little crappy about my lusting for a top-hatted mouse, that was next to skulls of various creatures, bottled insects, a bat, and all sorts of curiosities. They also display a sign stating that all wildlife was ethically sourced, so you needn’t feel guilt when your coin purse starts doing all the talking.

Eye see you.

Eye see you.

Erick also dropped an interesting tidbit: they offer a taxidermy class, if any are interested in making their own animal militia. They also can help you put your dusty Ouija boards to use, as they offer occasional seances.

She was a huge fan of beef jerky.

What do you say about a leathery mermaid?

In the very back of this multi-roomed emporium, I met a lovely mermaid with a mildly shrunken head. I’m thinking she might make an excellent centerpiece during the holidays. Besides the lovely maiden of the sea, stacks of lonely Ouija boards, bearded lady t-shirts, movie posters, vintage comics and old cameras, and hell, even wax busts of no-name dames.

If you ever want to give me a gift, this is it.

If you ever want to give me a gift, this is it.

If you ever find yourself roaming Burbank in need of a turtle skeleton, or squirrel eyes, maybe even some Star Wars comics, please do yourself the biggest favor and visit the wonderfully macabre, Bearded Lady. Your shelves and dreams will never be empty again.

 

Bearded Lady Vintage and Oddities

3005 W Magnolia Blvd
Burbank, California

(323) 696.5219

Hours: Tues – Sat: 10am – 7pm/Sun – Mon: 12pm – 7pm

Online Store: https://squareup.com/market/beardedladyvintage

 

“Whenever you are, we’re already then.”

The Mar Vista Time Travel Mart, and her sister shop in Echo Park, stocks everything a dimension skipper requires. Yer robot actin’ up? It’s not creating portals like you need him to? Or, maybe he learned some ancient language on that last adventure, and now he cusses you out with it. Get a memory eraser. They have plenty in stock. And if they don’t, just come back yesterday.

If time traveling isn’t your bowl of Primordial soup, then look closer:

fdsfsdfsfsf

Create your own Jurassic Park, or, just eat an Ice age animal.

The Time Travel Mart is home to an innovative, creative writing tutoring center from grade school children, to high school students. the organization that backs it, 826LA, is a non-profit, volunteer-based chapter of the 826National. Creative adults giving time to inspire young storytellers to splash their tales on paper. The center was started to assist overwhelmed teachers with children that required the extra assistance. They could come here after school, for the help they needed. The founders, Dave Eggers and Nínive Calegari initiated the first in San Francisco, on 826 Valencia in the Mission district. There are 826 locations all over the country.

The joy is in the caption.

The joy is in the caption.

What really struck a chord with myself was the fact that all 826 locations published the work of the students that attended. I purchased one of their collection of short stories, since all proceeds went back into the center. I was impressed with the quality, and the fact that these children wrote far more brilliantly than most adults. 826LA is always looking for volunteers to assist with after school writing assignments, college writing essays, and creative writing. They also sponsor field trips from area schools to provide inspiration, and assistance if need be. The Mart also sells McSweeney’s items, books by Dave Eggers, and other published works from former and current tutorees.

Unlike your robot, he's a pacifist.

Unlike your robot, he’s a pacifist.

Stock up on your robot requirements, or just grab some tonics anytime at: http://826la.org/store/

If you’re not stuck in another dimension, bargaining with a giant mantis, I recommend you stop by:

Echo Park Time Travel Mart

1714 W. Sunset Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90026
(213) 413-3388

Noon – 6pm, daily

Mar Vista Time Travel Mart

12515 Venice Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90066
(310) 915-0200

Noon – 6pm, daily

Wanna become a time traveler?

Here’s how: http://826la.org/volunteer/how-to-volunteer/

 

“Shop local. Support small businesses. Small business Saturdays.”

All these slogans have become a part of our day, along with our cup of Starbucks sludge. We hear them, see a banner or two in our Facebook feeds, but rarely do we abide. It’s not due to our contempt of small businesses, or our love of brick and mortar. Our money flows to familiarity, and what route is methodically memorized. My heart has many cracks from the constant heartbreak of my favorite indie shop closing due to a bordering book shop.

Don't forget to come up for air.

Don’t forget to come up for air.

Fortunately for my heart, Hennessey + Ingalls has two locations, and shows no signs of being uprooted. Around since 1963, Southern California denizens have counted on the largest independent bookstore for all their creative and gift giving needs. Screen printing, fine art, graphic design, or architecture? Check. FIDM student, or obsessive fashionista? There’s an entire section devoted to  the biographies and designs of Jeremy Scott, Tory Burch, and Karl Lagerfeld.  Hennessey + Ingalls have an incredibly in-depth collection of every visual art in book form. Even the esoteric magazines they carry: from Australia to France, if there is a visual art involved, you can guarantee that it’s living here. The locals that swarm this imagination emporium range from the 6-year-old plopped down in the corner, pouring over a big, glossy nature photography album, to the frazzled boardwalk artist, frantic for inspiration and marketing know-how.

Hennessey + Ingalls

Screen printing is huge among canines.

After a few visits, your reclaimed wood coffee table will be sweating with the warmth of books you never knew you needed.

 

Hennessey + Ingalls 

Hollywood Location: 1520 North Cahuenga Boulevard #8, Los Angeles, CA 90028

Phone: (323) 466.1256

Hours:

Monday thru Friday: 11:00am – 8:00pm

Saturday & Sunday: 10:00am – 8:00pm

Santa Monica Location: 214 Wilshire Blvd, Santa Monica, CA 90401

Phone: (310) 458.9074

Hours:

Everyday: 10:00am – 8:00pm